Zen is you – Be.

The Social Networking Popularity Contest

Posted in satisfaction by dave225 on January 24, 2009

In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed a lot of  “does she like me?” on my social networks.


“Stuart from high school wants to be my facebook friend.  But we weren’t friends in high school.  Should I be his friend?  I’m friends with Becky, and Becky is friends with Carla, but Carla’s not friends with me.  Why didn’t she friend me?  If she does, should I say yes?”  Holy crap, 25 years out of high school and the drama continues…


“I’m going to stop following people who don’t follow me back.” “People with more followers than followees are self-important.”  Why does twitter have to be two-way?  If you’re following someone you find interesting, why would you stop?  If someone doesn’t find you interesting – well, first of all, that’s their opinion and so what.  But if you’re really insecure about people not following you, maybe you need to be more interesting, more often.  Again I cite “there’s no honor in being right.” -if finding yourself interesting isn’t good enough and you need validation from others, it’s up to you to gain their interest.

Linked In – “Oh, you worked at Chase?  Do you know Roger?”  All I can say is, make it count.

So as much as I love the energy that comes with social networking, I can’t help but feel the stress of the social politics that have inevitably crept in.  Connect, connect, connect.. Good!   It’s not a competition, but it is a challenge to take only the positives and use them to enrich your work, your life, …

Here are my social network rules, for whatever purpose they may serve:
Facebook – if someone wants to be my friend, I say yes. (…unless they’re people I don’t know, collecting names.)   If someone wants to be my friend, then sure – be my friend.  And maybe they’ll be totally energetic about using their network the same way I do and we’ll hit it off.  Or maybe they’ll be totally disengaged and we won’t really reach each other.  Then who cares?  And I filter very little.  This is me being me, corresponding with people who want to know me – not my “internet persona.”  Everyone else is free to observe.  (Except my mom.)

Linked In – this is my trusted, professional network.  We have to know each other.  I don’t collect names -I connect people.

Twitter – I don’t care who follows me.  I don’t say much on twitter most days.  I follow people who will redirect me to interesting resources.  I follow friends so we can exchange short notes during the day.  I follow people who ask compelling questions.  I don’t follow people who don’t seem to have anything else to do but twitter all day.  I don’t follow people who use twitter like IM-meets-LadyGodiva.  I don’t follow people who obscure relevant tweets by yacking nonstop.

Plaxo – WTF is the deal with Plaxo?  People keep connecting with me and they never post anything.  I only have an account because I wanted to see what I could do with it.  (turns out – not much.)

Twine, Flickr, meetup, speakersite and any other community of practice – you bet we can connect there.  If you’re there, let’s talk.

In person – better yet.

2 Responses

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  1. benjaminwright said, on January 24, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    Business office computers are being infected by malware when employees visit insecure social networking pages. I have compiled documented examples of infections -Ben

  2. […] my last posts an my other blog […]

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